To be a successful runs girl in
Unilag you have to work for it. You will do practical and theory Oloshology for four years so you can
come out and say, “Yes! I have arrived.”
Not just lie down and open leg, my dear. There are some things you have to do
to get correct clients. Not small small mosquito club boys in school. When you
show me that you’re serious, I will take you to Akeem’s house so
that he will do gbere for you, two on
your breasts and one on top of your powerhouse. Any chairman that enters there
has entered for life. I just thank God for this Akeem person, oh! I was walking
back to my hostel one day when Akeem just tapped me on the shoulder and
downloaded my life story to me. By the time he started telling me about my
uncles who were covering my star in their coven, hmmn, I followed him to wash
my head in the river before he did my gbere
for me. Everything I have now that you see here was bought for me by alhajis
and senators. Even the duplex in Ikoyi, it is Senator Lawal that is paying for
it.
Uhn, let me not talk too much. What
was I saying again?
Ehn hen! You have to gain respect
from the wannabes. You know the ones that raise their noses as if your body
stinks when you are around but cannot remove their eyes from your Michael Kors
when your back is turned? Yes, those ones.
Some will bow down easily but others will not. You have to teach them a
lesson when they step on your toes. Like the time one Prisca girl wanted to
form Van Damme for me with her face like yesterday's egusi soup. Pimples and
spots decorate her face like izz nothing
yet she had the audacity to accuse me of stealing her makeup box. To make
matters worse, she called me ‘Shakirat’ instead of ‘Shakira’.
Imagine! By the time I sat on her and beat her well, she couldn't find
foundation in the market for her skin colour. When she sees me now ehn she
takes alternative route. So, my dear, if you want to have mouth in this
business, you have to work on your fighting skills. Don't let one girl that is
still collecting pocket money come and rubbish you in Moremi Hall.
Then you have to work on your skin
seriously. When me and Aisha enter the club on Fridays, it is me the alhajis
notice because my skin and destiny is bright. Nobody taught me in year one when
I found my way to Mama Tega's shop in Yaba (beside the train tracks gangan) to mix cream for me. All these
fair girls you're seeing they didn't come like that oh. That's why I don’t
follow dark girls to do Throwback Thursday on Instagram. When you become fair,
old things are passed away, all things have become ‘tear rubber’.
Make sure you use the cream Mama Tega gave you twice a day and in 6 months,
your skin will be brighter than Aisha's future. What did you say your name is
again? Chiamaka Uchebo? Alright from now, your name is Amy. In this business
nobody cares about your surname so let’s forget about that one. You can’t
use your real name so that you don’t soil your family name and get into
trouble with your family.
Now the main thing in this business
is the sex. My dear there is no such thing as love making. If you allow any man
fuck you for free, that’s your luck. Money for hand, back for
ground/bed/kitchen/cabinet/ironing table/car seat/wherever. Don’t
adjust the rules for anybody. If they can’t afford it, tell them to keep it
moving. Any style they call for you, do it. If you are not enjoying it, pretend
you are so they will keep coming back. Whether
you feel it or not, feed their ego and they will feed your bank account, you
hear?
Yah, that’s right.
Let me not talk too much. Whenever
you’re ready to go to Akeem’s place just let me know. You have my
room number, abi? Okay no wahala.
BY.........IBUKUN AKINNAWO
publisher......yekipedia
follow us @yekeme
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